Saturday, December 17, 2005

Yeah, Too Much Eggnog

It's my birthday. Actually, it ended about an hour ago, but I'm hanging on. Eggnog. Rum. Yum. You get the point.

I just uploaded a version of "Ventura" to - after going to Kobe near Universal with some friends, I've been working on it all day, part of my drive to get a bunch of songs demo'd for whatever purpose may suit.

Went to see Rob Thomas last Monday in Tampa. I'm not a huge fan, but I appreciate his music in a big way, especially "This Is How A Heart Breaks". We hung out after the show and, like a freakin' groupie, I got him to sign "Dee" - so, now I've got three Grammy winners signatures on her. Sweet.

Music is the only thing that can save me. I was talking to my step-grandmother about this today. A great quote: "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."

Jesus said that.

I've got some issues to deal with through my music. God gave me the gift, and as I can use it to cure myself, I can also present it to so that others can identify. Music that gives as it cures. Whatever the hell it takes - because I want to make music, but I've got to exorcise these demons.

My mom's death. My father's death. My grandfather's death. My aunt's death. My cousin's death. The death of the bond with my family. The death of my innocence.

I've got a lot of mourning to do.

And celebrating! To balance things out - there's so much to celebrate. The big jam we had last weekend, celebrating my birthday along with that of Rob from Cadillac Recipe and my attorney, Steve Belle - it was a massive love-in, of food, music and good times. It was beautiful, thank you Jae, and it also served as this catalyst for getting some new musical things done. The pipes are percolating.


Indigobusiness said...

Good quote.

Indigobusiness said...

Man, what a soulful post. I read it more carefully and it rings with a certain sense of a dweller at the threshold.

I think your music will save you, I listened to some and it reinforces my opinion you are fine-tuning the equation of your grief and joy. They both appear to have taught you well.

You seem poised to fly, keep up the good fight.